


It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

by olivebranchesandredwine



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Blow Jobs in a Car, Canadian Blowjob Day, Canon Queer Relationship, Future Fic, Husbands, M/M, Pavlovian chub, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-18 12:36:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20639276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olivebranchesandredwine/pseuds/olivebranchesandredwine
Summary: David shows Patrick how to celebrate his favorite holiday, Canadian Blowjob Day (9/14)





	It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the drunk girls in the bar at the Rosebudd for making me aware of this Auspicious Day. I hope all my Canadian readers celebrate it with the relish it deserves.

“What’s your favorite holiday?” David’s eyes were glued to his phone, lips curling into a lopsided smirk. Over the years, Patrick had come to know and love that smirk in all its iterations. But this particular smirk? It was by far his favorite. Because _this _lopsided smirk was the one that said, without words, that his husband was in the mood to play. Seeing David’s face slowly twist its way into _this _grin still gave Patrick a Pavlovian chub.

“New Years,” he replied, squirming a little in his seat as he forced himself to focus on the road. “Why do you ask?”

David reached across the center console so that he could slide his palm along the top of Patrick’s thigh, let his long fingers brush down against his inseam. Patrick gripped the steering wheel a little tighter as David began to squeeze his thigh, moving in a slow, rhythmic pattern that Patrick felt shoot straight to his cock.

“Just curious,” he leaned over and whispered into Patrick’s ear. “Because I think I have a new favorite. Pull over.” David pressed a delicate kiss to _that_ spot just beneath Patrick’s ear, and then returned to his seat. He watched with a satisfied, teasing grin as Patrick eased the car onto the shoulder and put it into park. “Engine off.”

As soon as Patrick complied, David sprang into action. Seatbelt unbuckled, he lunged across the console, reaching between his husband’s legs to pull the lever that slid the driver’s seat back with one hand as brought his lips crushing down against Patrick’s. “God, _David,” _he sighed into the kiss, carding his hands through the back of David’s hair, licking into his mouth to explore the familiar but still so delightfully exciting topography with his tongue. David tightened his mouth and sucked on Patrick’s tongue until Patrick was moaning, then tore himself away. Patrick whined at the loss of contact until David brought a hand up, resting the heel against the front of Patrick’s throat—knowing just how much his husband enjoyed gentle pressure and _possibility _of choking—and grazed two fingertips along his bottom lip. “Open,” he huskily commanded, and then slid his fingers into Patrick’s eager mouth. “Show me how you want me to play with your cock, honey.”

Closing his eyes with the sweetest little whimper, Patrick lapped at David’s fingers, tongue sliding between them, swirling around the tips, and then sucked them as deep as he could take them. “You’re so beautiful like this,” David murmured, his own eyes heavy-lidded, pupils blown wide with desire. He reached with his free hand to to unbuckle Patrick’s belt and undo his pants. He shoved his hand into Patrick’s sensible white briefs and gripped his hard cock, let his thumb glance back and forth across the slit.

Unwilling as he was to move either hand from where they were, it took David a little extra maneuvering to get his mouth where he wanted—no, _needed_—it to be. He replaced his thumb with his tongue, lapping up the salty liquid from where he’d spread it across the head, and then licked down his veiny shaft. “Show me what you want, gorgeous,” David mouthed the words along the underside of Patrick’s length, and waited.

Patrick flattened out his tongue and licked along the line between David’s fingers, from knuckle to tip. David reciprocated on Patrick’s dick as best as the angle would allow, teasing the underside of Patrick’s shaft with the side of his tongue before awaiting further direction.

Patrick gave David’s fingers a series of fluttery kitten licks, then took just the tips of his fingers into his mouth and sucked. David followed suit, laving every part of Patrick’s dick with his tongue, then wrapping his lips around the head and sucking gently. He couldn’t resist adding a little flourish, however, bringing the tip of his tongue to tease at the slit, taste the precome as it began to flow more freely.

“_David_,” Patrick moaned around David’s fingers as his hips bucked up, only to be rudely pinned back down by his still-buckled seatbelt. Without stopping his glorious assault on Patrick’s dick, David extricated his fingers from Patrick’s mouth so that he could unbuckle the offending safety equipment. Once Patrick was freed, David reached for one of his hands and placed it onto the back of his head.

“Fuck,” Patrick’s voice was reedy as David placed that spit-slick hand over Patrick’s and gave a firm push. David hummed contentedly around Patrick’s cock as he took him deeper into his mouth. “Fuck, David—” Patrick choked off in bliss, his head lolling back against the headrest while David bobbed up and down on his dick, slurping messily as he worked his mouth further down Patrick’s length. Windows fogged up from the heat of their bodies, the car echoed with the sounds of messy, spur of the moment sex—of David doing his goddamn best to choke on Patrick’s cock, of Patrick panting and babbling a litany of _yes _and _fuck _and _David_ punctuated by wordless grunts and whimpers—and vibrated with its intensity, rocking as Patrick fucked up into David’s mouth.

“I’m gonna come,” Patrick groaned, needlessly, because David already knew. Knew his husband’s body and mind so intimately, knew the way the muscles of his thighs tensed, the way his breath hitched, the way his balls tightened. He knew exactly when Patrick reached the tipping point, passed over the edge and fell unstoppable into his climax. He knew it and loved it and was ready for it; he swallowed Patrick all the way down, his nose brushing against tangle of dark, coarse hair, and sucked hard, as though to pull ever last bit of his release from Patrick’s balls. And he continued to suck him through the waves of pleasure that followed as he came down, shuddering through the aftershocks, gentling the intensity of his suction as Patrick began to soften in his mouth. He gave the velvety soft skin of Patrick’s cockhead a gentle kiss, and then carefully tucked him back into his briefs.

He leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to Patrick’s parted lips, amused at the dazed expression on his husband’s flushed face.

Patrick shook his head as though it could shake off his lingering, sex-stupid gooeyness, even though he knew it wouldn’t. “What was that for?” he asked.

David gave him another satisfied smirk. “That’s how we celebrate my favorite holiday. Happy Canadian Blow Job Day, honey.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to scream about SC or find out more about the Rosebudd Motel, you can contact me via tumblr or email. Links available [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/users/olivebranchesandredwine/profile)


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